The Bozblog

Put One Finger UP!

2009-09-24T12:26:00.000-07:00

It's long been a tradition in Montana that the proper greeting used when meeting a fellow traveller on a dusty gravel backroad is to put one finger up as you pass one another.

It's a practical gesture in that to take a whole hand off of the steering wheel of a fully loaded grain truck or a combine would welcome a possible head-on collision with the neighbor. One finger does the trick, keeps things friendly and large implements on the road surface instead of the ditch.

Some visitors to our state don't understand this greeting and are taken a little aback when the friendly gesture is offered them on a deserted county road. So, here follows a little tutorial on when to produce said finger and, more importantly, which finger to produce.

First, the finger is offered when on a secondary or county road, typically in a rural setting with farmland around you, where speed limits are mere formalities and pickup trucks replace the BMW as the vehicle of choice. As you bounce and slide down the road, you might encounter another traveller, coming in the opposite direction toward you, both hands firmly affixed to the wheel of whatever vehicle he or she's maneuvering. As the two parties approach it's important to keep both hands on the wheel. The road is narrow, the surface undependable and just a slight miscalculation on either drivers' part could send the vehicles crashing into one another. And yet, there exists a need among these rural travellers to express recognition of the presence of one another through some gesture.

Years ago, I'm told, hanging one's head out the window with a big smile on one's face seemed to work all right until some farmer up on the hi-line got smacked in the head by the oncoming vehicle's side mirror. There was also the other factors of dust, weather and rocks flying around that caused this method of greeting to lose its popularity.

The "one finger up" method caught on quickly once introduced as a greeting option on the Montana backroad grid. Using the first finger, the one immediatly adjacent to the thumb on either hand, and keeping both hands on the steering wheel of the vehicle, simply lift said finger skyward and then, starting from the middle position, or 12 o'clock position, wag the finger back and forth from the 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock position approximately three to five times. A protruded finger stationary in the 12 o'clock position indicates that either you're driving a particularly unreliable vessel and need all the help you can get just keeping things on the road, or, as in my case, that you're suffering from Adult Attention Deficit Disorder and the mere extension of the finger is taxing your ability to perform only one task at a time. Either way, the message is "Howdy, what are you doing out here?" in the friendliest tone possible.

In New York City they use the one-finger method of greeting also, but I'm told it has a totally different meaning. Different finger, too.

Now you have the information, go out and greet people often and openly. Remember, keep one finger UP!

What Is Champagne White and Pink Chiffon and holds 11 crates of eggs?

2009-07-31T09:33:00.000-07:00

Why, a 1960 DeSoto, of course. I thought everyone knew. The DeSoto was one of those long, luxury cars of the '60's with the fins and push-button electro-glide transmission that was designed to move families around the burgeoning urban landscape. Which is why my cousins and I were a little surprised when my uncle, a Montana dry-land wheat farmer, drove one up the driveway to the little ranch house we lived in near Roberts, Montana, one sunny morning.

We had expected a new pickup, or at least a newer pickup that could carry stuff. Like crates of eggs, for example. Something functional. Something you'd use on a farm. Something you could get dirty. Something that was already a little dirty. The DeSoto was so clean we weren't allowed to sit in it. Even though it had bubble wrap seat covers. Not your typical ranch vehicle.

The Big 'Why' was the focus of the dinner conversation that night. Why the DeSoto and not a more practical vehicle? That was when my uncle John introduced us all to the art of finding the hidden value in a transaction.

"The trucks they had were overpriced," he explained, "And the salesman wouldn't deal on them." But the DeSoto, sitting like a pink and white blemish on his truck-filled lot, now THAT he'd deal on. Uncle John was not an immediate buyer until he got an idea. First, he negotiated a fair price. He didn't drive the vehicle, didn't even say he liked it. He negotiated FIRST the price and terms. Next, he drove the vehicle. But WHERE he drove it was as important as how much he was willing to pay for it. He drove it down to a local grocery store where he had just delivered 11 crates of eggs, all he could fit in his old truck without spilling eggs on to the highway. He and the grocer took the eggs and fit them in to the DeSoto. It was a nice fit. All 11 crates went inside a weather-protected interior complete with heater, radio, and push-button electro-glide transmission. Perfect egg car. And now the rest of the story.

Eggs are important to a farmer. They bring in much-needed money. To the rest of us, they provide an important food source. I could go on, but you get the idea. Uncle John bought the DeSoto not just because it could hold 11 crates of eggs, although that was an important selling feature. He bought it for the much more important goal of pleasing the egg delivery person; his wife.

For years she had struggled loading the egg crates in to the old pickup bed, trying to start the old truck, heater didn't work well, rough ride, balky old stick shift, no radio. She hated it. Finally, she told him he had to deliver the eggs.

The DeSoto put her back in the egg delivery business. In fact, she loved delivering the eggs after which she'd stop in at the local cafe for a cup of coffee and her pals would admire the DeSoto and whisper about how well Uncle John seemed to be doing on his little farm.

Uncle John understood the intrinsic value of the DeSoto completely. As I grew older I came to understand his viewpoint when I bought my first house. It was cosmetically in need. I thought it was too expensive. I wanted more for my money. But at the end of the day I bought it. Why? Because my brand new wife said she could make it into a great little home, which she did. The feeling we both had of accomplishment and pride in our home far outweighed mere financial calculations. It elevated us to a new level of citizenship really. We began to take pride in how our home looked, the lawn became my domain, we compared notes with and got to know our neighbors and watched one another's homes when we went on our respective vacations. I trusted the area when I had to leave my new wife and travel for work. And guess what? I made money on the investment when we sold and bought our second home.

What's champagne white and pink chiffon and can hold 11 crates of eggs?

I think you know.

The $8,000 Gift Horse

2009-07-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's a gift. From the government. To first time homebuyers, those who have not owned a home for the past three years.

And people are looking the $8,000 Gift Horse in the mouth.

Meaning, of course, they aren't actively seeking to buy a home prior to midnight, November 30th, 2009, when the offer expires. Goes away. Kaput. $8 thousand dollars gone.

To understand the reluctance of people to step forward and take advantage of this offer, you must look at the bigger picture of what's happening in our economy.

First, there is no consumer confidence in the direction the country is heading. The evening news, which, unfortunately, provides the information we use to make our decisions now that we've given up reading altogether, offers a constant barrage of negative news regarding the national debt, rising costs of goods and services (inflation), wars, plagues, businesses going out of business, unemployment, rising racial tensions, and so on until the average person on the street begins to understand that the whole thing is out of control. Would you have confidence in buying a home at any price with any incentives if you were confident that the only thing you could anticipate happening was you losing your job because the government was getting ready to tax your employer out of business? The answer is NO, you wouldn't have confidence. Unless, of course, you took a lesson from those who came before you and re-examined your role in the world as an American.

What I mean is this. When the Pilgrims arrived on our shores, they were starving, the wilderness was steadily and rapidly killing them until they began to adapt using Native American methods of survival. Did the Pilgrims become Indians? No, they remained Pilgrims and adapted.

During all of our countries trials and tribulations, Civil War, WWI and II, Vietnam, Pearl Harbor, The Great Depression, 9/11, etc. the people of the country have come together in the end to preserve a way of life. Today the challenge is remembering what and who we are as a nation.

In short, if you think we're about to become a failed nation, where millions are unemployed with no hope of employment, where starving throngs will fight over resources, food, heat, water, where gangs will roam the countryside killing and looting, then I pose this question: Why would you hesitate one moment to buy a house? It would be the least of your worries if you couldn't pay for it, right? At that point, would you really worry about your credit score? I doubt your banker would even call you about a late payment, am I right?

I think we should begin to act like the Americans who worked their way through all these previous trials, like there IS a tomorrow and move forward. It's what we do better than any nation on earth. Don't give the nation up to the weak and uninspired, take it back and rebuild it starting today. Open a business, buy a home, save money, live within your means, manage the life you've been given, don't hand it over to some bureaucrat to manage. Take it back. Now.

Has the Market Turned?

2009-06-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

A View from the Rear View Mirror: Has the market turned? (edit/delete)
Life is crystal clear when viewed through the rear view mirror. Trends, predictions and changes of all kinds are more understandable in the light of yesterday and the real estate market is no exception.
The January 27th edition of the Wall Street Journal carried a story under the headline "Price Cuts Spur Home Sales." The article is packed with data, but the general theme is that price cuts in single family home prices due to market conditions are bringing buyers to the market. Areas that have seen growing housing inventories, such as Denver, Orlando, Phoenix and Orange County California are beginning to see small signs of stabilization via a decrease in housing inventories over a year ago.
Most significantly, I believe, is the fact the headline appeared on the front page of the most influential financial publication in the country. I firmly believe the press had a great deal to do with the fallout of the real estate market in my town because of the relentless reportage of the failing markets in places like Phoenix, Florida, Las Vegas and Southern California. Our market still has not seen the ravages taking place in those markets and most likely won't. We still felt the ripple effect from those markets due to the news articles in our local paper describing those markets and hinting that our market was following suit.
People believe what they read and see on television and in the national print media. Mark your calendar with the date January 27, 2009. It might have been the date the real estate market began to recover!

The Fourth of July

2009-06-30T12:56:00.000-07:00

The Fourth of July is just around the corner and I couldn't be happier! The holiday presents an opportunity for Americans to at least spend a minute thinking about who we are and what we're going to be tomorrow. There's always room for improvement, that's for sure. Improvement is what we're good at after all. We make things and then make them better. It's sort of in our blood. It's why the rest of the world either admires us or despises us, depending on their situation. Honestly, if you were a dictator who wanted to stay in power, wouldn't you hate us? We represent everything such a person would fear and loathe: freedom of choice, press, religion, lifestyle, the general open pursuit of happiness. As for the rest of the world, those who would aspire to reach higher levels of freedom and self-direction, wouldn't we represent a beacon of hope? If Americans can do it, so can they! What a dark and soulless world we'd live in if there wasn't one example of something better to aspire to.

So, whatever you are politically, you are an American. For one day, let's celebrate that fact together. Then, tomorrow, let's pull together to be better Americans to our fellow countrymen and to the rest of the world. We CAN make a difference!