Put One Finger UP!

It's long been a tradition in Montana that the proper greeting used when meeting a fellow traveller on a dusty gravel backroad is to put one finger up as you pass one another.

It's a practical gesture in that to take a whole hand off of the steering wheel of a fully loaded grain truck or a combine would welcome a possible head-on collision with the neighbor. One finger does the trick, keeps things friendly and large implements on the road surface instead of the ditch.

Some visitors to our state don't understand this greeting and are taken a little aback when the friendly gesture is offered them on a deserted county road. So, here follows a little tutorial on when to produce said finger and, more importantly, which finger to produce.

First, the finger is offered when on a secondary or county road, typically in a rural setting with farmland around you, where speed limits are mere formalities and pickup trucks replace the BMW as the vehicle of choice. As you bounce and slide down the road, you might encounter another traveller, coming in the opposite direction toward you, both hands firmly affixed to the wheel of whatever vehicle he or she's maneuvering. As the two parties approach it's important to keep both hands on the wheel. The road is narrow, the surface undependable and just a slight miscalculation on either drivers' part could send the vehicles crashing into one another. And yet, there exists a need among these rural travellers to express recognition of the presence of one another through some gesture.

Years ago, I'm told, hanging one's head out the window with a big smile on one's face seemed to work all right until some farmer up on the hi-line got smacked in the head by the oncoming vehicle's side mirror. There was also the other factors of dust, weather and rocks flying around that caused this method of greeting to lose its popularity.

The "one finger up" method caught on quickly once introduced as a greeting option on the Montana backroad grid. Using the first finger, the one immediatly adjacent to the thumb on either hand, and keeping both hands on the steering wheel of the vehicle, simply lift said finger skyward and then, starting from the middle position, or 12 o'clock position, wag the finger back and forth from the 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock position approximately three to five times. A protruded finger stationary in the 12 o'clock position indicates that either you're driving a particularly unreliable vessel and need all the help you can get just keeping things on the road, or, as in my case, that you're suffering from Adult Attention Deficit Disorder and the mere extension of the finger is taxing your ability to perform only one task at a time. Either way, the message is "Howdy, what are you doing out here?" in the friendliest tone possible.

In New York City they use the one-finger method of greeting also, but I'm told it has a totally different meaning. Different finger, too.

Now you have the information, go out and greet people often and openly. Remember, keep one finger UP!